Every year, I dread going to my childhood friend’s birthday party. We drifted apart a decade ago, and while I still care about her deeply, we’ve changed so much. Her friend group, in particular, is a reminder of just how different we’ve become.
One of her friends, let’s call her Amanda, always has to comment on my weight whenever she sees me.
“You’re so skinny!” “Do you even eat?” “Does your boyfriend care that you don’t have curves?” “Your legs are like sticks!”
For the record, I eat plenty, but I have a fast metabolism that keeps me on the thinner side. I try to keep a strong face when Amanda says these things, but honestly, it hits on my worst insecurities. It’s one of the reasons I dread going to these parties.
I was considering skipping this year, until I talked to my mom about it. She suggested a strategy I thought was pretty solid—just pretend Amanda is giving me a compliment. She said, “If Amanda says ‘You’re so skinny,’ just smile and say ‘Thanks, I love being skinny.’ If she’s disappointed by your response, you’ll have proven that she was trying to insult you.”
I thought this was brilliant advice, though I neglected to mention to my mom that Amanda is overweight. I now realize that this may have made me unintentionally an asshole.
Anyway, the dreaded party day arrives, and, predictably, Amanda comments on how tiny my arms are. I ignore it. Later in the day, while standing in a group, she gives me the once-over and says, “God, you’re so skinny.”
This was it. My moment. I turned to her, smiled, and said, “Thanks! I love being skinny.”
And then, to my absolute shock…
SHE SLAPS ME IN THE FACE!!!
I stood there, stunned, hand on my cheek, mouth hanging open. The room went silent.
Amanda started crying and ran out of the room. Two of her friends chased after her. Only one other person and my childhood friend checked if I was okay, while the rest just shot me dirty looks.
I left the party immediately—kind of sucked since I had a two-hour commute and had planned to sleep over.
The next day, I texted my childhood friend about the whole thing. She agrees that Amanda shouldn’t have slapped me, but says that I was insensitive for saying “I love being skinny” to a plus-size person. I told her that Amanda has been consistently insensitive to me at every party and that I only commented on my own body—not hers.
She argued that it’s different because being skinny is socially accepted, and that Amanda wouldn’t have reacted that way unless I had triggered her with my “insult.”
My mom still thinks I’m in the right, but, well, she was the one who came up with the idea in the first place.
So, AITA for what I said to Amanda?
