My younger sister (12F) has significant needs. She has a physical disability, is autistic, and also has learning disabilities. Because of this, my parents have always focused more on her needs. A lot of sacrifices have been made for her, and while I (15M) understand why, it has deeply affected me.
For example, my parents sold our house and moved into a rental to afford her treatments and accommodations. This meant I lost my own bedroom and now sleep in a curtained-off section of the house. I also got used to being left home alone from a young age because they were busy with her appointments until my grandparents stepped in and insisted I stay with them instead.
There have been other sacrifices too. I’ve had birthday parties postponed or canceled because my sister was having a bad day or my parents were too exhausted. When the parties did happen, they were often smaller, and many kids didn’t attend because my parents had a reputation for last-minute cancellations.
One of the hardest sacrifices was missing out on joining the coding club at school. I was really excited about it, but my parents said I couldn’t participate because it involved traveling for competitions, and they couldn’t commit to that. They said it wouldn’t be fair to my sister.
Now, my parents want to move to another state because they found a school that would be perfect for my sister. Her tuition would be fully covered, but it means we’d all need to relocate. My parents asked for our “blessing” to move, framing it as something that would be great for the family.
I don’t want to move. Leaving would mean losing my friends and my grandparents, who have been my support system. I told my parents I wouldn’t give my blessing unless they let me stay behind and live with my grandparents.
At first, they didn’t take me seriously and kept explaining why the move would be great for my sister. I told them I understood their reasons, but I didn’t want to leave. I explained that if we moved, I’d have nobody—no friends, no grandparents, no support. While I have them and my sister, they’re always busy with her, and I’d still feel alone.
I told them I’ve already sacrificed so much for my sister, and I’m not willing to give up even more. I explained that my grandparents are okay with me living with them and that we’ve already discussed it. They’ve always said I’m welcome to stay with them.
My parents didn’t take it well. They said I’m being selfish and not thinking of my sister’s needs. They also got angry at my grandparents for agreeing to take me in.
Now I’m stuck wondering if I’m the selfish one for not wanting to move or if my feelings are valid.
AITA?
